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New journal [22 Aug 2005|12:34pm]

Add it.

only if you read it


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Hey guess what [10 Aug 2005|09:47pm]

Hey guess what?

I got a New Journal!

Why? Because I felt like it.

So yeah Add it if you want




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RISE AGAINST [14 Jul 2005|10:01am]


Black Masks & GasolineCollapse )

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This road divides us [16 Jun 2005|03:05pm]
You would think a bond so strong could never brake.
But everything is broken when mixed with heartache.
It's hard to see you trying to hide the pain.
This road divides us.

Every crack laced with threads of hope keeping it together.
Scattered thoughts all asking "will this last forever?"
This place where happiness and disappointment collide
This road divides us.

Four feet walking to the same destination
Two minds filled with the same frustration
There is a price to be paid for love
This road divides us.

Sky begins to darken, the suns setting fast
How much longer will this silence last
Headlights glimmer in our eyes
This road divides us.

Apologies are pointless you've heard them all before
So what can I do when your laying on the floor
Secretly hoping for the tables to turn
This road divides us.
7 comments|post comment

trust [09 Jun 2005|06:14pm]
trust n.
Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
Custody; care.
Something committed into the care of another; charge.

The condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one: violated a public trust.
One in which confidence is placed.
Reliance on something in the future; hope.
Reliance on the intention and ability of a purchaser to pay in the future; credit.
A legal title to property held by one party for the benefit of another.
The confidence reposed in a trustee when giving the trustee legal title to property to administer for another, together with the trustee's obligation regarding that property and the beneficiary.
The property so held.
A combination of firms or corporations for the purpose of reducing competition and controlling prices throughout a business or an industry.
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Now friends only [17 May 2005|07:52am]
My live journal is now friends only.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
comment to be added if your not already
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Why Can't i be what you need [05 May 2005|06:00pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

Im Choking On the words I'm too afriad to say
I wouldnt want it any other way.
My lips bare the taste of you
Nothing so sweet nothing so true.
nothing, nothing is like you

Its never been harder to fall
theres nothing to grad
and your all i want to hold on to.

So um, things....kindda suck right now.
Nothing is gonna work out.
and nothing is going to change.
Currently I'm at sarahs house shes cleaning her room...
My parents are pretty smart and took the cord to the computer so i cant sneek on anymore.
i dont know what to type...
so i guess....I'm done.

Imagining what I can't see
you and me
you and me

9 comments|post comment

Take this bullet to my heart [03 May 2005|02:46pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Dont you hate it when people talk about you?
i do.
espically when i know the people and i look over at them looking at me and they contuine to talk...about what? i can only imagine
Now, my date with chris was awesome. Hes really funny, and he taught me how to fold a napkin and do all this other stuff cause he works at the place the aprty was being held and yeah i had a good time.
Im grounded off the computer for a while. My parents are gay and gave me the sex talk and the drug talk in one night, thats alot of..."we just want you to make the right choices." seruoisly i think my parents think im a pothead whore. which i am neither.
Today sucked.
yesterday was good.
i still have that feeling in the pit of my stomach.
i want a new layout...this one is too pink.
so yeah. i have pictures...sorta.


Only TwoCollapse )

8 comments|post comment

Above the clouds [30 Apr 2005|03:59pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Well tonight is my date with chris, im excited and alittle nervous. Hes an amazing guy.
and i got a new dress.
Vinnie never called me. I really need to talk to him.
Sarahs upset cause i havent been able to hang out but i am going to hang out with her tommorw!
Ek. 2 1/2 hours...and counting.
Oh and Precious in clarity...june 4th...i cant wait!
well i am going to go and try keep myself busey.

6 comments|post comment

Your writing such pretty words. [29 Apr 2005|02:15pm]
[ mood | moody ]

Well i fucked everything up.

Its sucks how everyone knows how Its going to end up.

3 comments|post comment

Fuck. [26 Apr 2005|02:21pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

alright im going to miss the computer
im faling math and french
ok first of all my math teacher hates me
and french...im only failing by one point so i can bring that up
but SHITT!
i hope im not compleyly grounded like i have to stay in my room, I've never been that type of grounded
Im im doing really good in everything else like english i got a 92
so i dunno
school sucks
the past 3 weeks have sucked
and yesterday
i found out something that umm wasnt great and the details upon that expanded today on that and ummmm im hurt.
and just to know you cant make the person you like smile when hes sad isnt great
and ummmm yeah so both fronts of my life suck
mother fucking fuckers
oh well
ill get a long speech about how school is is important then the computer will be taken away then i might not be able to hang out then they wont talk to me for at least 3 days.
oh fucking joy.

10 comments|post comment

Faggot [23 Apr 2005|06:52pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

ok well today i didnt really do anything but me and my dad went to go return library books and get a moive from block buster
when we got to the libray he told me to go put the books in the book retrurn and i didnt want to and he said;
dad-your a faggot
me-I'm a what?
Dad- a faggot
me-eww well your a dike
dad-ha dikes are female
me-no they arent are they?
dad- yes
me-oh ok well your a douche bag
dad-ohh a douche bag clever, nasty
me-yeah thats right
*song comes on the radio*
dad-jen you know you wanna dance
jen-cause im a faggot
dad-yup thats my girl the faggot.

LOL!! hahaha my dad is awesome! yeah and thats about it

8 comments|post comment

This is a message from my heart "torn in two" [22 Apr 2005|07:55pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

well everything has pretty much sucked.
monday i stayed home from school cause i didnt feel like going cause school well shit happenes and i just didnt feel like dealing with it? i dunno then i went to dance. that was fun, dance is always fun.
then ummm i dunno alot of stuff happened
i hate updating!
live journal sucks
but so does gay space which i might be getting sunday but i dunno.
wow i dunno alot.
me and my mom got into a giant fight and she used one of my own voab words at me obstreperous...whats a bitch.
but yes.
im confused
you know mixed emotions and what not
and people dont make anything any easier
i got a writing journal
i love to write
cause i an take parts of my life and alter them to my likeing
well i guess im going to go.
sarah feel better. =) you are the salt to my pepper. lol i am a cool person and only cool people such as myself can see cooler people...such as yourself.

and I've given up on caring...

5 comments|post comment

John came for a vist! [17 Apr 2005|08:53pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I was talking to my dear friend john and we wanted to see if our houses where in yelling distance but then he just kinnda came to my house it was funny cause then cars came and he was just satnding there!
paitballskater69: and i heard you laughing from your porch
paitballskater69: lol
paitballskater69: i just thought of that....dik y
tearyeyes1881: lol it was funny!
paitballskater69: idk*
paitballskater69: why because i was staning there
paitballskater69: lol
tearyeyes1881: lol yeah cause you where satnding there and then you didnt end up doing anything and haha it was funny
paitballskater69: lol

hahaha it was funny.

i hope you feel spical john.

15 comments|post comment

This town died [17 Apr 2005|06:48pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Daves party was really fun, I never knew star gazing could be that much fun.
So another wasted day of my life.
my afternoon went as such:
I began my book and its another amazing piece of literature written by caroline Mackler. I dont know what it is, but you feel a certain bond with the charaters. They hurt you hurt, and you devople their feelings..like when they kiss their crush you get this wave of emotions remembering you last kiss that ment something specacular. wow that sounded really gay, but i really dont care.
i set myself up for a boring day i said i didnt want to hang out and i really didnt. I thought about it and i really am afriad to get any closer to vinnie.
anyway back to my day, I've realized how uttlery pathetic i am, read 2 to 4 chapters get a drink on my way to the kitchen and I'll stop and look in the mirro, repulsed at my own pathetic refelction. tossel my hair and dig myself back into my book. and I never realized that i cant sit still for more then 10 minutes.
Then chinses food came and my sister had two friends over one of which i hate and she hates me. i had to sit across from her and get harrssed with stupid little comments about how my music is always so loud, watching food fly in every direction from this little girls mouth.
But sitting in my room for 6 hours straight makes you think about everything, and you only wish you could go back in time and change, or alter things you did.
Two amazing people.
Its just all too complicted.
sarah thinks I'm mad at here which im not. whenever i dont smile, the world takes pitty on me and flowers me with "are you okay?" I'm fine really. Its a common misconseption for people to think your upset when your really not cause when you think you dont necassarly have a smile on.
Im contemplating on weather to get my hair cut. Its half and half. I love my hair, i think its the only good thing about me. but Im also a tad tired of the same look.
opions would be nice.
Im half way done with my book in less than one day, Im proud of myself.


I found this interesting.Collapse )

24 comments|post comment

Pictures! its been a while [15 Apr 2005|10:22pm]

Yes, so i got books cause i like to read...yes i do.
then me and sarah went to block buster and got 2 moives one of which we didnt watch.
so yeah...Now i have pictures so click the little link thing and yeah enjoy?
oh tommrow zack and Tj *coughcoughsarahslovercoughcough*
hehe so right pictures.....i have alot so LOOK...NOW!


She keeps on asking Collapse )

26 comments|post comment

Bang Bang Guns go Bang [15 Apr 2005|05:05pm]
[ mood | blah ]

New layout!!! i love from first to last, Sonny Moore is hott.
wow this week has sucked, and I've been in the weirdest mood, like i want to be happy but i cant..and ah i dunno.
everyone leaving live Journal for Gay space....I want one! =) lol yeah sarah i want one cause i love you soo much and it will further our communication.
umm stuff has happened. yesterday i had a picnic...sorta. dave and jimmy came vinnie couldnt come. then nikki and arianna came. and i served popcorn and juice...great picnic.
yeah i rolled up in the blanket then jimmy unrolled it and my head hit the floor. and it hurt alot.
and hmmmmmm
today was the multi culrula thinggy and sarah got me and melissa locked outside cause she was hungary lol its ok cause i didnt want to be there anyway. thanks sarah
i hate updating.
i feel i have so much to say
but i dont wanna say it
well me and ryan, are over. i miss him. but its for the better...i guess.
sooo yeah
i think im going to go to the libray with sarah now so...bye bye.

9 comments|post comment

Love can touch us one time, and last for a lifetime. [12 Apr 2005|09:25pm]
worst day ever.
5 comments|post comment

fucking you. [11 Apr 2005|03:15pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

i will tell him when i feel the time is right.
this has nothing to do with you.
why do you have to be involed with everything?
I think you like him.
sorry in im wrong.
and i think you know who you are.

why does everything have to be so fucking confusing.
nothing is simple.
everything is fucked up.
you cant be happy for one second. people dont like to fucking see you smile.
selfish, selfish, selfish.
Inconsiderate little dikes.

And back stabbing bitchs dont make anything any easier.
let me handle my own problems.

Fake smiles for miles

my day...was full of surprises!

but katie makes me smile.
adorkabile43: im a proud stalker. i dont wait for things to come to me, i find them first
adorkabile43: rAwR1

adorkabile43: jen write about how awesome i am

ok katie...
katie is awesome.
the end.

you've got the most amazing eyes I've ever seen

11 comments|post comment

Everything you said, Everything i wish i did. [10 Apr 2005|04:03pm]
[ mood | drained ]

umm alot happened.
i went to katie house...we had funn, nikki got attacked by a tredmill, and lost alot of hair. then we had leaf races it was fun, my leaf won, we also took 39845756 pictures. me and katie are the proud parents of a pig.
ryan came over we had fun we watched the lion king, gave nikki the silent treatment went for a walk! we had alot of fun! im sooo glad i got to see him agian! i love you soo much ryan.
the computer got restared so i lost everythign and sarah changed my background. Its killradio
they are cool
the background is ok.
and umm i dont feel like updating alot
yesterday was Daves Birthday i gave him a card and he didnt like it cause it was for a 50 year old but that was the only card i oculd find.
the vinnie and dave got into a fight and dave left vinnie at my house so my arianna nikki and vinnie watched sherk 2 then nikki left we walked arianna home and then vinnie satyed for a while. he was arguring with him self and he wont tell me why. I'll find out.
then today i was supposed to help sarahs sister megan with this project but my mom decedied to throw a party and i could go but i think im going over there later today and maybe haning out with her kayla and meghan?
i dunno.

what i thought was a certainty has left me spinning in circles again

5 comments|post comment

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